Thursday, October 6, 2011

Time: fast vs slow

Normally time seems to go fast. i.e."wow the summer sure went fast,"  "I can't believe my baby is already in school" etc.  In the scheme of the big picture this pregnancy has gone by relatively fast...until yesterday.  The day seemed normal until the evening when it just seemed that time was slowed way down.  I had gotten the kids to bed before my husband got home from church meetings and my mom and I were just sitting at the table when he got home and sat with us.  The thought came to me (as I had felt for the last few hours that there was more that I should be doing since time was going so slow) that this was the calm before the storm.

Now it is the wee hours of the morning and again I find time going a bit slow.  I'm sure that it will speed right back up once the sun starts to shed it's light on the day.  I'm sure time seeming to slow is because of the anticipation of the day...Today is the day baby 3 will join the family.  She was due yesterday and given the past 2 children's disposition to stay inside for several extra days, we were not thinking she would come much earlier and got approval from the doctor to induce today.  Tuesday he said that my body was showing readiness but that the baby was not looking as interested (meaning she is still high in my belly).  I guess my kids just like being all tucked up inside until they have to come out!

I can honestly say that I am gong through a range of emotions for this day: 
*I am excited-ready to meet this little girl, see what she looks like
*I am nervous-everyone says three is the hardest; still not so sure I can handle a girl
*I am anxious-there comes a point that you are just ready for something to be over with.  I have loved being pregnant and have felt toward the end of this pregnancy that not going into labor has been okay since it is much easier to handle her without actually needing an extra hand...but there comes a point when even that though can't stop the anxiety from hitting.
*I am scared-labor is not really that fun and I know that I will be sore and I don't really like having pain...truth be told, I kind of am a pansy.  I know that it won't last long but still the idea it will be there for several days is just enough to scare me.
*I am happy-Life is good, really it is despite all the bad in the world.  This may seem crazy to say I'm happy then mention the bad in the world, but thanks to my Savior and a knowledge of his Eternal plan, I am happy!
*I am grateful-to be able to have another child...to have a husband I love, to have two wonderful (and very trying of my patience) children...to have my parents here to help and also the whole family support that I have felt and know is there among my siblings and in-laws and friends...I think this list could go on and on, I am TRULY blessed and VERY grateful for those blessing!

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